Freeeeeeeeaaaaky...

Very weird things are happening at the Obi-Gyne Department. Although I am a Surgery clerk as of now, because the Obi-Gyne Department is just one wall away from ours in the Emergency Room, I had the opportunity to witness the most strangest things yesterday.

A woman, gravida 3 ( meaning she has been pregnant three imes already) gave birth right then and there on the floor of the Emergency Room. Under ordinary circumstances, women immediately about to give birth are initially seen at the ER-ObiGyne Department and rushed immediately to the Delivery Room at the next building via stretcher. This woman came to the ER-ObiGyne, talked for a few minutes to the ObiGyne clerk and in the few minutes that the clerk turned her back to the woman, she kneeled on the floor, and right then and there, she was already trying to push her baby out. Just as the clerk began yelling "Hermano, ang stretcher!", amniotic fluid and fecal material was coming out of the woman. The worried father put his hand out between the woman's thighs and tried to catch their baby. The next thing we heard was the sound of the newborn baby crying, "Ungaaaaaa... ungaaaaa.... ungaaaa...."

The whole thing was damn over in less than three minutes.

The next thing I knew, the baby was wrapped in clean rags (the same rags, we Surgery clerks use to clean our bloodied patients, hehehe...) and brought to the Pedia Department for incubation. Because the baby was delivered in the ER instead of the Delivery Room, it is considered unsterile and therefore, not qualified to be put together with the other neonates at the nursery. The mother was put into a stretcher, her umbilical cord hanging with a straight clamp on its end between her thighs, and brought into the Inspection Room for the manual removal of the placenta.

Cool. But at the same time, gross...

A few hours after, as I was trying to review for the endorsements tomorrow, Ice, the Obi-Gyne clerk on night duty called me and showed me the freakiest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. As she pulled me into the Obi-Gyne Inspection room, I thought she was going to show me a cute newborn baby.

Well, it was a baby all right.

Lying in the middle of the disposable gloves wrapper was an 11-day old newly aborted fetus, taken fresh from the uterus. Its mother was still lying right there in lithotomy position... It was, like I said, incredibly freaky. You can actually see its eyes (or something that resembled it) and limbs. It reminded me of those grade school days when I used to go to the Adoration Chapel at ICES and lining the hallway to the chapel were various posters on abortion, including graphic photos of aborted fetuses in various months of gestation.

Hmmm... at this rate, I'm kinda looking forward on to what other freaky things will be in store for me during my own rotation as medical clerk at Obi-Gyne Department on February next year. Hehehe... So, NOT!

A List of Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:

Oops!

Has anyone seen my watch?

Come back with that! Bad Dog!

Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingy

What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!

Damn, there go the lights again...

Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

What do you mean, he's not insured?

Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Bay Watch"

What do you mean "You want a divorce"!

FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

...from thedoctorslounge

Mr.X


I was never comfortable with the concept of death.

Yes, I dabbled on thoughts of suicide and dying young during my turbulent adolescent years, like any other ordinary teenager. But hello? No one at the age of 15 is really that serious about it!

As a matter of fact, I am afraid of looking at dead people inside open caskets. For many years, I have managed to maintain a two-feet distance between me and the casket whenever I am dragged to look at corpses inside caskets during wakes. I have also managed to maintain a brave face whenever faced with a cadaver during Anatomy Lab, instead of running away from the room in a speed of 80 miles/hour.

But this was obviously something that I had to face.

At 4:00 this morning, for the first time in my life, I had seen a man die right in front of me...

An unknown elderly man that we had named Mr.X was brought to the ER. There was no watcher with him and he was said to be found, lying in the midle of the road, a supposedly victim of hit and run. As the crowd of student nurses dispersed from around his stretcher, I finally saw him in all his tragic splendor: Both legs were splinted, from the hip to the ankles, a variety of wounds decorated his skin like unwanted medals of valor, and with gurgling sounds coming out of his throat, fresh blood oozed out of his mouth like a red water fountain. Both pupils were dilated, blood pressure was 20 palpable and his heart rate was barely perceptible.

We did massive suctioning, intubation, Ambu-bagging, even CPR yet despite our attempts to keep him alive, eventually, he died in the E.R. This man, who could be someone's grandfather, father or husband, has died alone with no relative to see him for the last time and with no name to identify him in his death certificate. For all we know, some daughter or wife or granddaughter is looking for him right now and they aren't even aware that he is already dead.

I have never witnessed a sorrier event than that.

Mr. X was now nothing but a corpse lying under a white sheet. I kept thinking how bad it must feel to die, without a name, without your family, without an identity.

Mr. X, may you rest in peace.

Top 10 Ways to Kill Time during the 24-hour duty at the ER

Under ordinary circumstances, life for a clerk assigned at the ER-Surgery Dep't is TOXIC. We provide first-line management for those who come at the Emergency Room due to animal bites, stab wounds, trauma, falls, vehicular accidents, for those who are allegedly mauled, raped, beaten etcetera. But that Friday evening, business was really slow and by 1:30 in the morning, we were freeto do whatever we wanted. Sitti, my team partner and I went to sleep for about two hours at the OPD-Surgery room, afer which we couldn't stand the cold anymore and so we decided to hang-out at the ER instead. The clerks from the other departments were there as well, with nothing to do, since it was a pretty slow night for them as well... except for Ice, from the Obi-Gyne Department. Blame it on all women who decided to conceive a month afer Valentine's Day...

Anyway, I decided to compile the Top 10 best things to do at the ER, as a guideline for future clerks who will be assigned to do 24-hour duty soon and will have the luxury of a slow night. Enjoy!

1. Fool around with the weighing scale. Make girls and very vain guys cry when they start weighing themselves and see that they have gained an additional 20 pounds.

2. Eat the lunch and dinner that you have skipped the night before. Follow-it up with a very early breakfast just in case you won't have time to eat anymore in the morning with all the incoming patients.

3. Try catching Hepatitis B and AIDs by washing the used instuments at the sink without wearing any gloves. And on that note...

4. Unsterilize the sterilized instruments by secretly inserting your unwashed hand inside the aseptic trays.

5. Put your bare feet up on the table just because your resident doctor is not there to scold you from doing so.

6. Make fun of the resident who scolded you the night before.

7. Practice voodoo on the resident who scolded you the night before.

8. Practice flirting on the resident who scolded you the night before. Who knows? It just might work!

9. Try to escape for a few minutes and buy some caffeinated drinks outside the hospital. A can of Diet Coke costs P15. The price of few minutes of fresh un-Lysoled air: priceless.

10. Sleep. Best thing to do!

S.O.A.P.


Arevalo, Mae Angelica
24 y/o female
Putik, Zamboanga City

S:
(+) fatigue, varicose veins, and sleepiness x 8 hours during first day of clerkship, feeling dumb more than ever for not being able to know what duct is at the submandibular gland (Am I supposed to know that?), feeling stupid for wearing my paporma shoes with the 2.5 inch-heels, with associated (+) weight loss from all that walking and running around

O:
(+) pale, palpebral conjunctiva,
(+) drooping eyes (ano to, ptosis?) from lack of sleep
(+) pale buccal mucosa
(+) varicosities on (B) feet from standing too long
(+) pallor of both palms and soles
(+) erythematous soles of (B) feet

A:
Burnt-out clerk on her first day of clerkship; ready for her second day of torture at the ER tomorrow on her first 24-hour duty

P:
1. Bring scrub suit, water, baon, lots of Extra Joss and Baby Schwartz.
2. Bring candy to combat hypoglycemia.
3. Try to get on Doc Alawuddin's good side. Sharpen your flirting skills.
4. Take multivitamins, stresstabs, and ferrous sulfate.
5. Don't forget to put a little make-up to bring color to your face. Clerkship = mukhang losyang!
6. Sleep early.
7. Eat plenty.
8. Be happy =)